Gracie and Family History

Gracie has no desire to leave the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.   She embarks much later than planned on her five-hour journey to visit one of her cousins in Indiana.  He is a first cousin once removed or a second cousin, or is that the same thing?  Gracie is not clear on which, but this generation has taught Gracie a lot about her family and life. 

Another cousin from another state gave Gracie an insight into her  grandmother, who was widowed in her early forties. Grandma was very fond of Elvis Presley, which puzzled Gracie until this cousin shared her feelings about being widowed at the same age.  She said, “It was very difficult to be left alone with four children, getting a job, juggling everything and getting over the shock of his untimely death.  What I missed the most was that all of a sudden, I was no longer a woman. When I was doing the dishes, he no longer sauntered up behind me, put his arms around me, caressed me and whispered sweet loving words in my ear and then nibbled my neck.  That part of me was extinguished.”  Even after all these decades it is evident she still cherishes him. It is said that women reach their sexual peak around the age these women were widowed.  Gracie never thought of her grandmother as having sexual desires. Gracie chuckles to herself, as she remembers that when they were children she and her friends thought that their parents only made love once for each child they conceived.  Being older and having children of her own, Gracie grins as she incorporates this knowledge into her understanding of Grandma. Suddenly her interest in the gyrating King of Rock and Roll makes plenty of sense. 

Gracie drives and eventually stops at a rest area for a bathroom break.  She worries that she will reach the Indiana Cousins far later than she said she would.  Gracie is time zone impaired, however this time it is working in her favor.  She knows the sun travels east to west but can’t convert this information into clock hours in her head.  She will gain an hour because of a time zone change and it bewilders her that she  will drive 5 hours and possibly get to her destination on time.  Did the computer printout of her route already compute the time change in or not?  To be honest, this is beyond her so she just keeps the pedal to the metal and keeps on driving. 

 She arrives to a warm welcome.  This meeting came about because  this previously unknown cousin put things in motion by sending  a letter to Gracie inquiring if she had any information about a man who turned out to be their common ancestor — his grandfather, her great- grandfather. At the time she almost didn't open the letter because of the way it was addressed.   She was about to toss it in the trashcan when a voice in her heart said, “just read the letter.” “Do you know who my Grandfather is?” seems like a simple question, but Gracie remembers the family story about a set of identical twins, who swapped husbands.  How to tell someone you don’t know about the skeleton in the family closet?  He might just be fine with the information, but then again he might not.  She ponders this for a couple of days and eventually telephones him and explains the situation.  Yes, they have a common ancestor but Gracie isn't sure of his grandfather’s identity, as it could be either one of two men. “Cuz”, as she now affectionately calls him, chuckles and says “this will be an interesting genealogical research project indeed….” And he is right.  With his research skills and her people skills, they make a great team

He finds two living common relatives and he and Gracie decide that personable Gracie will approach this cousin and see if she can shed any light on their question.  Unfortunately, one of these two “new” cousins will have nothing to do them meaning Gracie and the genealogist cousin.  However, “Julie” (not her real name) is willing to talk to Gracie on the phone. The family history plot thickens when Gracie discovers that there was only one man involved and he fathered children with both of the twins.  (From henceforth, his nickname is Frisky!) The other cousin, Julie’s sister  remains unwilling to talk about all this as it opened old wounds for her.  Happily, “Julie” is willing to talk about her memories of picnics with everyone, her sadness at seeing her dad in the park with her aunt, not her mother.  Despite being told the woman was her mother by the friend that was with her, she knew better.  More conversations reveal that there is yet another cousin a generation down on the family tree.  It’s time to lay the past to rest.  They meet at “Julie’s” home, over Kentucky Fried Chicken, look at pictures, and discuss memories.   Everyone concerned feels uplifted and healed.  Gracie is still in touch with all of them.  To Gracie this is a testament to the fact that families can be together for a long time if not forever.

Copyright © 2015 Martina Sabo