There's No Place Like Home

The first reference to the title of this post comes from a song called “Home! Sweet Home!”  The lyrics were written by John Howard Payne and the tune was by Sir Henry Bishop in 1823.  Another more recent and popular reference would be from L. Frank Baum’s 1900 fantasy “The wonderful Wizard of Oz” and Judy Garland clicking those ruby red slippers repeating the phrase over and over

Enough of this…it’s true that there is no place like home but it includes the good, the bad, the ugly, and the wonderful. This is about the wonderful.

Gracie enters the city via serpentine roads just above the speed limit, though not too much. A hair-raising to the airport with her passenger repeatedly screaming “SLOW DOWN TO EIGHTY!!!” cured her of speeding.

Gracie so enjoys seeing the trees and flowers.  She calls this “smelling the green” and absorbs the sights and smells into her heart and mind.  When those two witnesses agree she feels at peace. Every year in May, she makes a pilgrimage here just to get a double whiff of lilac bushes in bloom. 

But this visit is to launch her road trip because it is always good to touch base with your roots before you branch out. What a pun! And true too!

She pulls up in the early evening, in time to go to the Quemahoning Dam and join her grade school friend to kayak and watch the rise of the super moon technically called the perigee-syzygy. Her friend’s husband is happy she is there because this gets him off the hook.  He went on the same expedition the month before. 

Gracie and her friend scurry about loading her car with one kayak rather than the usual two, so that they can communicate in whispers. Once on the water, they reminisce and then are dazzled as the moon rises, so bright and splendid that even the stars disappear.  Gracie softly sings “Fly Me to the Moon” as she has a song for every occasion. 

Gracie has been warned by a very experienced traveler that it's really hard to keep in shape when you're on the road.  So she jumps at the chance to work out and then get a picture of the local university's mascot.  What a great way to start the day! 

Jigsaw Puzzzling

And the day goes on as they will visit her girlfriend’s Mom. Gracie watches, delighted as her friend makes her energetic entrance into the meeting room at the nursing home. Loretta Young never did it so well.  True that Loretta never wore sandals and capris, nor carried a large bag containing the tools for daily workouts: foreign language vocabulary, word find puzzles, jigsaw puzzles and the exercise band and ball, but still.... Often the entire room is involved with her friend, who gives everyone a chance to hit the ball back to her a few times. Once, she brought in Styrofoam balls and they had a snowball fight with her friend dodging as many as possible and she throws them back as well.
Her Mom is required to do 100 ball returns and continues to do more exercises, including arm and leg stretches with the band.  Her friend's Mom’s native language is Croatian, and so the daughter takes Croatian lessons to make communicating with her easier. Her Mom is so very animated when saying her prayers or bursting into song. 

When Gracie and her friend were children, she made cinnamon buns the size of quarters which the children popped into their mouths like candy. It is one of Gracie’s cherished recipes. They were sent to the woods and hills to picking berries to add to other tasty delights for baking made in the little kitchen.  Not all forms of food gathering were that fun. Sometimes the hunters of the family brought in rabbits which would need cleaning. They hung them on nails in the basement and then taught us children how to cut them open, carefully avoiding the bladder.

Breathing Exercises

Her friend and the Mom are amazing women; the b because she keeps on keepin’ on.  Some think older people should be left without medical care or be extinguished after their usefulness has passed. But older people provide invaluable opportunities for others to be compassionate, magnify their talents, and serve in many capacities.  Gracie thinks:  “She fed us, why shouldn’t we feed her?”As Gracie and her friend leave the nursing home, they realize that if they are fortunate enough to live as long as her friend's mom, they have another 35 years to go.

Their conversation takes a more serious turn as her friend asks, “We will die someday and I wonder if God is pleased with me or if I will go to heaven.” Gracie laughs out loud with tears of joy in her eyes and assures her “How could He not be? Not only is God pleased with you, He is proud to have you as His daughter. So is your Heavenly Mother.  Just look at how you uplifted those around you!”

P.S.  Today is her mom's 98th birthday!

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo

ROMANCE

Dear One,

Mourn not the quick passing of our summers, least one precious moment be lost. If fate has decreed that for this time we meet only in warm green, it is not ours to curse or to despair, but rather to catch and hold each moment granted, to care for these as the priceless things they are, pressing them between the folds of our minds where they can be savored and contemplated whenever we wish. 

Heed no season but the seasons of your mind and one summer can last a life time. I, l like you, fear and dread the winter sky and can offer no answer but this: Walk straight with your head held high and your long hair flowing, full knowing, that, though I am not at you side, it is there that I long to be. And although the road be winding and elusive, I am always walking toward you.

So rejoice that we have had this season together and someday, soon perhaps, we may forsake the howling wind for an eternal summer.

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo

Gracie Learns of Romance Novels

Gracie's daughter encourages her to write a romance novel. Gracie demurs -- since she's never read one, how could she write one? She decides to do some research, egged on by the astonishment and teasing of some of her friends. "What do you mean, you have never read a romance novel!?" They say, amazed.  Gracie is taken aback by these women's reactions.    They are bright and intelligent, some with multiple degrees....  Gracie, though she is a bit stunned by her friends' comments, thinks, "Maybe I'm missing something in my life."  If her friends' disbelief hadn't been tempered by amused affection, she might almost have felt rebuked.  Gracie decides to use this as an opportunity to learn something new.  

To the internet:  Search: Romance Novel Genre. She considers "The Bride" by Julie Garwood, but after two traumatic ventures into matrimony, Gracie isn’t about to open that title. Abandoning the Internet, she tries the local thrift shop where she learns that they don’t sell books.  However, the proprietor is enthusiastically willing to help and calls her mother on the phone to get some ideas.  Gracie is fascinated that the clerk drops everything, finds her cell phone and calls her mother all before Gracie can say  "I really don't want to impose..." which wouldn't have been actually true as she does want the information.  She departs with a list of titles and authors. 

Returning home she canvases her four female neighbors; she asks a) do you read romance novels? b) if so, could  you recommend a title  or lend me  a book? House 1 loads her up with four books; house 2 gives an additional five to her and house three tells her that house four won't have any as that neighbor would never read a romance novel even if it was printed on environmentally friendly paper. One neighbor gives a book to her explaining that while she hasn't read it, she's heard it's quite popular. 

Gracie resolves to read that one first but not until after her lunch date.  Lunch is interesting. She thanks Heaven that she's done raising her children, as the group of mothers discuss their concerns about autoerotic asphyxiation, bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism which is ravaging the high schools.  Really?  Sure, she is a generation older than the women at the table, but she is truly perplexed. What happened to "make love not war"? Surely in a mere 40 years society couldn't have gone from free love to the idea that abuse is lovemaking? That’s a stretch by any standard. The women of the '60s early '70's wanted nothing to do with bondage, abuse or dominance. They were able to stand on their own two feet.  They burned their bras and didn't wear underpants, well, until the first time they caught their pubic hair in the zipper.  What happened to flowers, love letters, caresses, laughter and kindness? So it is easily understandable that Gracie is shocked when she learns that some women willingly subject themselves to cruelty instead of insisting on loving passion and tenderness.  

She pays her part of the check and heads home to the couch to embark upon her first romance novel.  This should be an escape from the discomfiture of lunch. She deposits herself in a supine position on the small green leather sofa draping her legs over the arm. She opens the book and reads: “I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror damn my hair - it just won't behave.”(1)  She carries on in growing disappointment. She tries not to let the poor writing deter her from her goal of reading a romance novel by week's end. Around page 48 is when the "hero" goes to a hardware store for ropes and chains. A light bulb suddenly goes off in Gracie's head as she realizes that the lessons from lunch are right before her eyes.

She grabs the cell phone and calls one of her lunch mates for some clarity.  To her dismay, she learns that the lunch conversation was not only the topic of the book but that it was this very friend's child's favorite book.  What?!  How can such bright, intelligent kids be into this? The writing is dismal, the content appalling.

It is sad. Downright sad and wrong that so many are being deceived into believing that enduring or inflicting physical pain can be an expression of love. Gracie knows what abuse is as well as the joys love making. These young adults may never know joy, tenderness, kindness, laughter or wrestling passion freely given and received in an intimate loving relationship.  They are trading real love for abuse, degradation, and slavery. Gracie weeps for womanhood, her friends and their daughters.  

Foot note one. Page One, Chapter One, Fifty Shades, E. L. James

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo

Gracie Enters Her State of Birth

Gracie often heads to Pennsylvania to replenish her soul.  A place with tree-covered hills which burst into to a vast expanse of sassafras yellow and maple scarlet in the fall.   She also loves the great variety of evergreens there -  Scotch pine, Norway spruce and blue spruce which were shaped like giant bee-hives in her Grandparents yard.  The Tree-of-Heaven, Ailanthus, an invasive, was brought there in 1784 and it is also called the Tree-of-Hell.  Perhaps this proves that perspective is everything.

Her first stop is to visit her daughter.  Gracie is delighted to see her and grateful for a loving reception and delicious dinner.  Gracie wants to buy a few things for the trip, most importantly books and music. She picks out two books:  The Art of War by Sun Tzu and The Quiet Gentleman by Georgette Heyer.  Her choices illustrate Gracie's broad range of interests.  As they near the cash register, her daughter says:  “You are homeless and unemployed, Mother, I’ll buy the books for you.” Gracie protests, but she is outnumbered by the cashier and her daughter’s beau.  She thinks to herself “Be gracious.” and then gives an enthusiastic “Thank you.” This scene is repeated at the CD store and at lunch.  “Wow!” thinks Gracie, "This is fun!”  She's deeply touched by the offer of a home, should things go awry on the road, but Gracie likes her independence.  A conversation with another of her children sheds light on Gracie’s feelings.  “Mom, you are so much more fun to visit than to live with.” said one of her sons.   She laughs, but when she replies “I feel the same way about you,” the son’s face drops in shocked surprise.

Within the same city, Gracie has a fine example of what she wants to be like when she grows up in her sensible 93-year-old second cousin on her father's side.  She lives a few miles from Gracie’s child, and the cousin’s sister, aunts, and other relatives rest in the graveyard where Gracie walks when visiting her daughter.

This second cousin lives independently and allows her children to visit and assess her ability to walk up and down the poorly lit, steep, wooden basement steps.  She still drives her car though not at night or on major highways; she does her own shopping and cooks tasty food similar to what Gracie used to eat at her Grandmother’s.  She likes crossword puzzles, is an avid reader  with an interest in religious material,  including, the Holy Bible, The Book of Mormon, the Methodist hymnbook and the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer.  She is bright, witty and a joy to be around.  No wonder Gracie feels she is a woman to emulate. 

It’s time to head out of town. Gracie cannot depart without documenting her stay by adding to the “animal photo collection.”  Gracie likes to have her picture taken with statues of animals or live ones.  Her children do not seem appreciate her hobby as she has been told that there is a “senility spreadsheet” where these pictures are being logged. If this is senility, by gum, it’s fun! 

Copyright © 201 Martina Sabo

Gracie Arrives in the West

He grabs her by the shoulders, looks into her big green eyes and vehemently says:  “Gracie, you’ve got to get the hell out of here; you are driving me crazy.  You just gotta leave!"   She is stunned by her handyman’s words.  She has never heard him swear, not even when he is up to his elbows in the worst possible plumbing project. They have been through so much together and his knowledge, helpful attitude, abilities, and kindness have often blessed her life.  She trusts his advice on much more than just home repair...

Gracie’s departure date is quickly approaching and things are breaking left and right, but the tall handyman, who looks like he should play bass with ZZ Top, comes repeatedly to the house without complaint.

He takes her by the shoulders again and says:  “Don’t worry about your house. I will take care of it while you are gone and everything is going to be fine.”  She believes him, takes a deep breath, gets a goodbye hug and kiss, hops into the packed car and leaves. A noble friend is a blessing from God.

She makes a number of minor adjustments on the road. For one thing, her radio buttons no longer match the local stations. Gracie looks at the radio and wonders:  do you push tune or seek/skip? She never eats fruit unless it is cut up, but it's not really safe to be chopping up apples and nectarines while driving. Ugh, to just chomp into them seems an impolite adjustment to make. Apples are safe enough, but to have nectarine juice drip out the corners of your mouth or down your chin is downright repulsive.  She is alone in the car and the unicorn pillow won’t tell. 

She gradually adjusts to new technology.    She's never had a lap top and she hopes she can learn to love hers, even though it contains unfamiliar programs. As you might have guessed, adjustments are not Gracie’s forte yet adjust she must.

And adjust she does, learning to grab the apple, snack bar or water from the cooler without stopping the car and keeping her eyes on the road simultaneously has become habit. The car is now home base and everything is in its proper place as she obsessively and compulsively puts everything in the same place.  Road tripping is becoming a way of life, a part of her good life. And then, more adjustments as Phase One is completed when she pulls into the driveway at her western base just a few hundred miles shy of the Pacific Ocean.

Road Tripper's Badge of Honor

Yes, some people call it a skin cancer breeding ground or a vitamin D receptacle.  She is a bit dissapointed that she didn't really tan but turned orange instead.  Too bad it's not Halloween she could be a pumpkin. To Gracie, however, it's a badge of honor because although she's a homebody by nature, she just drove the hefty distance of four thousand three hundred and sixteen miles, (4,316).

How could she have driven so far and not ended up in the Pacific Ocean?  It must be all the fun things she did in between. 

More details to follow....side trips too.

Copyright © 2015 Martina Sabo

Gracie and Words Beginning with "P"

Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.  Gracie learns this lesson as she kneels in prayer and asks what seems like a simple question:

 "What would happen if I rented out part of my house?"

 The next morning she awakens to an email from someone from her past:

"My husband can telecommute and we were looking for a place to rent for five or so months,,,," 

she reads with astonishment.  

 "Is this an answer from God or am I reading it wrong?”

she quizzically asks, looking upward.  She ponders what would have to be done for such an exchange to take place and wonders where she would go. Her son counsels:

"Commit now; plan later."  

That doesn't sound right…. Then he explains:

"You ask someone to marry you, then you plan the wedding; you save up for a house down payment and then get a mortgage.” 

OK, this does make sense. She begins to plan as questions flood her mind beginning with what should she pack away and where should she put it?

She prepares by sorting through the genealogy closet where she finds her father's high school yearbook from 1935; her mother's diploma from nursing school, and her Mum's wedding dress from September 1, 1939 (the day Hitler marched into Poland). The family joke was that was the day that two great wars began. She finds her own 8th grade graduation picture and stands in the middle of the room crying for the loss of one friend fifty years ago and then cries all over again for the joy of the friend that remains so after fifty-eight plus years.

Gracie realizes, as she never has before, that she has a great sentimental attachment to her home. This process of packing up and moving out may be harder than it first appeared. She cries a lot and then forges ahead. Everything seems to fall into place largely due to her fantastic handyman and friend as his help and advice is comforting.  She distributes some things to friends and relocates others within her own home.

“Keep a list, Woman!” says a small voice in her head, 

“The days are winding down.” and suddenly Gracie panics.  

“What's happening? Why I am leaving a perfectly wonderful life for the Unknown? What if…?! What if…?! What if…?!”

 She begins to realize that "if" is one of the biggest words in the English language. Again she hears her son’s counsel: 

"Ma, Ma," (it's always two Mas if he wants her to pay attention) "of course you will miss your old life when you are on the road, but that doesn't mean that what you are doing doesn't have value."

Can this font of wisdom be her child?  She takes his words to heart and also remembers the words of her friend Esther when faced with a major decision in her own life“…if I perish, I perish.” But if not???? 

Gracie takes a deep breath and  plunges into her future.   

More will be revealed as the path unwinds. 

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo

Gracie Goes to the Baseball Game

Gracie is off to the ball game with her best friends from grade school. Ah, the thrill of it all! They are taller than Gracie, with crowns of thick, curly hair and bronzed skin. They walk with longer strides than Gracie's Casper white legs can manage. Gracie walks calmly, trailing unintentional destruction in her wake. Her friends notice the noise of the first crash when a large plastic placard falls with a whoosh and then a whack as it hits the ground. They turn to look and ask what the noise was. Gracie confesses with a shrug, but decides not to acknowledge her fault by going back and picking it up.

Onward and upward, well upward, for them as they head to the top of the stairs to find their the seats, when Gracie trips on the steps catching herself, but dropping her water bottle. Someone leaps down to pick up the rolling water bottle and asks if she is OK.  "Yes" Gracie replies, without the least embarrassment. It feels almost clandestine to go to the ball game when you are out of state, where hardly anyone knows you and the people who do know you are out of sight.  She catches up with her friends and sits down.  All is well, even as she climbs over other spectators and gets to the rest room without incident.  This adds to her confidence.  Nonetheless, upon leaving the game, Gracie manages - how - we will never know, to knock bottles out of cup holders. Her friend saves the bottles and pleasantly says, "Sorry about that!" to Gracie’s newest victims.

They went on a bike ride the previous day, but The Story of Gracie’s Bike Ride must wait to be told until her bruises heal.

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo 

Gracie's Fabulous Fourth of July

Gracie snuggles into bed anticipating the Fourth with thoughts of “Don’t tread on me,” If we don’t hang together, we’ll all hang separately,” the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and one of her favorite quotes:

Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?  Forbid it, Almighty God.  I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”

She likes it because she knows the beginning and most folks don’t; so much for humility.

Slowly she drifts off to sleep while planning her biking expedition downtown to see the fireworks.

In the morning she bags the gym, moseys out of bed and decides to walk to her church’s annual flag raising ceremony and breakfast.  Breakfast is always better when someone else does all the work.

She looks forward with pleasure to eating watermelon – an item too pricey for her current budget.  She still likes to spit the seeds and she knows she shouldn’t as it is frowned upon in most settings, especially indoors.  Self-restraint is a must! Sausages, pancakes, and orange juice are also on the menu.  Walking back home will be a snap with sustenance like that.  She smacks her lips, wipes her mouth, says some good-byes and heads home to make a side dish for the party her roommates are throwing in a couple of hours.

She tosses a Burmese ginger salad together in short order and wonders if this country can get rid of the hyphens:  Asian-American, Black-American, Hispanic-Americans, etcetera, etcetera, and etcetera.  She recalls the words of Patrick Henry in 1773 when he announced:  “The distinctions between Virginians, Pennsylvanians, New Yorkers and New Englanders are no more.  I am not a Virginian, But An American!”

A friend calls and invites her to the beach.  The Fourth of July and spontaneity – can she pull that off? Gracie thinks for a few moments knowing she must decide quickly if she’s going to arrive before dark.  Luckily, she’s a seasoned enough traveler to have a list of what she’ll need inside her suit case. Chances are something will still be forgotten. Wait, what about sleeping arrangements?  Gracie asks "should I bring a sleeping bag or do you have a couch?" "Wouldn't you like to sleep in my king size be," was the response.  Gracie turns beet red and nervously though cheerfully says "I am a fine Christian woman and cannot comply."  The silence was deafening and she breaks it with "well, if you don't want me to visit, it's OK I understand."   "Come down.  We have a couch." She takes a breath and sees the clock is ticking and she prepares to get to the beach in time for the fireworks.

Her host has promised that there will be displays up and down the beach and that the view from the 21^st floor will be grand. And indeed it is. They watch the Washington DC and the New York City displays on TV, when the moment the first whistles and pops begin outside the condo, she leaps to her feet to claim a spot on the balcony. She is amazed by the experience of seeing fireworks at eye level.  Yes, you read that right….at eye level.  The people on the beach set off fireworks that rise through the dark and explode with colorful variety right across from the balcony.  The ocean breeze sweeps the smell of gunpowder quickly away and Gracie is beside herself giggling with delight.  What a glorious experience! And what kind wonderful friends she had to share it with. 

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo

In the beginning......

Gracie Piglette , that's French and pronounced "Pig let" with the accent on the first syllable, documents the non-linear journey through her life of happiness, fun, joy, trauma and sorrow.  There is fact, fiction, truth and downright bunk if not out and out lies.  You will decide as Gracie won't tell.

Gracie met Martina in Jupiter, Florida on March 27, 2014.  They were friends before they actually met and will remain so forever.

Copyright © 2014 Martina Sabo